


Home Is Where The Heart Is

by orphan_account



Category: Half-Life VR But The AIs Are Self Aware
Genre: Aliens, Coma, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Head Injury, M/M, Multiple autistic characters, Slow Burn, Temporary Amnesia, everyones autistic in the science team, im bad at tagging sorry, kind of ooc, okay who am I kidding it’s really ooc but it’s MY fic I get to make the rules, weird science, will add tags as needed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:08:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23934331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Benrey comes back. Gordon gets hurt. For some reason, Sunkist is there. All in all, a regular day in Black Mesa.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Benrey/really pretentious metaphors about what home is, Dr. Coomer & Benrey, Dr. Coomer & Gordon Freeman, Dr. Coomer/Dr. Bubby, Tommy Coolatta & Benrey, Tommy Coolatta & Gordon Freeman
Comments: 8
Kudos: 300





	Home Is Where The Heart Is

**_PROLOGUE._ **

  
The walls trembled and began to crack under the pressure of the explosion, and Doctor Freeman was trapped under a fallen beam, legs pinned by the concrete.

He knew that the others had escaped — he had watched them run through the door, Tommy pulling on his sleeve and saying something nonsensical about a race, before stone came crashing down and pinned him to the floor. The pain was near unbearable, but he managed to stay awake, only able to watch as the room fell apart around him.

“Hey, bro, need some help?”

_That damn voice._

“Am I hallucinating now? Or have you come to watch me die —” Gordon groaned, being cut off by screaming when the concrete fell completely on his legs. He felt the bones in his legs shatter, splinter, do whatever it was that bones do when put under extreme pressure — then, darkness.

I.

“Benrey, be careful with him, he’s not a doll.”

“Yeah, whatever. I’ve almost finished healing him, anyway.” Benrey sang up another purple ball,and it splashed across Gordon’s legs. Gordon coughed, and thrashed in the hand which was holding him. He looked completely out of it; his eyes were unfocused, blood dribbled out of his mouth, and he stopped moving after a few more weak kicks.

“What the hell? What the fuck, Benrey I thought you d—“

“Died? Nah, just needed to respawn. Went a little haywire there.” Benrey carefully arranged Gordon so that he was sitting up against the wall, but continued to support him by leaving his hand around his abdomen. The man had long stopped fighting, and his eyes were drooping again. Benrey knew that just because he could heal simple fractures, hell, even entirely broken legs, didn’t mean he could fix complicated brain injuries. So many little connections and pieces...he wouldn’t even attempt. There would be a far greater chance of him ruining what might already be broken.

“You tried to _kill_ me!” Gordon’s eyes flew open once more, but closed again, eyes rolling back up into his head.

“We all made mistakes.”

Benrey was still holding Gordon around the waist, but Gordon couldn’t find it in himself to be scared anymore — in fact, he went completely limp, unable to keep his eyes open any longer. He vaguely heard Tommy cry out something, and he tried to reach out, but was gone before Tommy reached him.

Dr. Coomer and Dr. Bubby stood by and watched as Gordon faded in and out of consciousness. They had leaned him up against the wall, a folded up lab coat as a pillow behind his head and Tommy holding tightly onto his hand. It wasn’t a total surprise that Tommy wouldn’t let go of Gordon, but something even more surprising was how attentive Benrey was. Both Coomer and Bubby assumed that Benrey would’ve disappeared once he was free of Black Mesa, but when the facility began to fall apart, they watched as the alien wrenched the roof off of it’s walls and ever so gently rescued Gordon from the building. It was like watching a lion pick up it’s cub, Coomer said, before Benrey phased into the large chamber, holding his prize.

Now, all he could was wait for him to wake up.

Tommy didn’t fare nearly as well. The man had taken off his propeller hat and placed it on Gordon, pretending it was a barrier of some sort from the world around them. He was still holding so tightly to Gordon’s hand that his knuckles were white, and his face was screwed up in frustration, like he was trying to will his friend to wake up and be okay. Occasionally the barrel of the gun attached to his arm would spin, like it was active, but it was more than likely that Gordon was deep in a dream. Every time this happened, Tommy would shake Gordon, trying to wake him up. Benrey eventually scooped Tommy up in one enormous hand, and held him to his chest.

“Listen, Tommy. We just gotta be patient. No use in hovering around him while he’s comatose.” His voice was a deep rumble in his chest, and it was comforting to Tommy, who refused to look away from Gordon, still watching him intently. Coomer took Bubby’s hand and went to stand next to the sitting Benrey, who watched them with mild interest, before Tommy finally fell asleep, after his two-day long vigil. Benrey set him down next to Gordon, being careful as to not accidentally let the young man’s head bounce against the concrete. It seemed as if Coomerno longer needed to sleep, and waited until Bubby and Tommy were sound asleep to begin speaking to Benrey.

“So, Benrey, why did you stay?” Coomer’s tone was light, conversational, but Benrey could instantly tell that he was not going to let this go. The giant shrunk his form just a bit, just so that he could comfortably sit cross-legged next to Coomer, and leaned back against the wall.

“Why do you care? I mean, Gordon was going to die. For good. I didn’t want to let that happen.”

“Cut the bullshit, Benrey, you know very well you tried to kill him less than a week ago. What made you change your mind?” The tone was no longer light. Coomer was zeroing in on him, and wanted answers.

“I-I. I don’t know. Something changed, when I came back. I wasn’t angry at him. I mean, yeah, I was upset that all of this happened, but...I lost control. I won’t let it happen again—“

“Benrey. Stop avoiding the question.”

“I’m not avoiding anything! I’m telling you what happened, I wanted to come back because I—“ Benrey raised his voice, and the edges of his uniform began to fracture and spin away into fractals, deep purple in color.

“Can you shut up?” Bubby whisper-shouted, rolling over to glare at Benrey. Benrey raised his hands in mock defense and rolled his eyes, the fractals dissipating. He looked away, and at Gordon, who was still in a deep sleep. Tommy, in his sleep, had once again grabbed Gordon’s working hand.

“You love him, don’t you.” Coomer whispered, truly whispered, just so that Benrey could hear. Benrey froze, and let himself grow back to his preferred size.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said curtly, and phased through the building, just to sit on top of the roof and stare at the stars.

_Why didn’t I go home?_

Home, for Benrey, would’ve been the Borderworld — or more exactly, Xen. That’s where he had come from, when the men in the orange and black suits captured him, injected him with sedatives, and confined him to the form of a man; he couldn’t remember what he should’ve looked like now. His “true form” was nonexistent. Yes, he was alien, and he most definitely should not have been “human,” even if he was just a facsimile thereof. He always knew he wasn’t human: his too-sharp teeth, ability to heal and destroy in a wave of sound and color, and ability to come back even after being fatally wounded was just the beginning. Something about being on Xen unmade the limits of his form that had been previously set, made him realize that he could change the form he possessed. So he grew. He changed the number of eyes a normal person should have to four, six, eight. He spilt his arms apart and grew another set, until heresembled an insect. But none of it felt right — he mutated himself until he simply shrank back down into the form of a security guard, unable to make anything stick.

“ _You wanted me to be bad, so now I’m going to be BAD.”_

Benrey looked up at the stars again, and thought of what home was. Was Black Mesa home, if it was all he knew? Was Xen home, if that’s where he had come from? Was home holding someone you loved in your hands, protecting them from the world, and wishing you could take back what pain you caused?

_“If I had a knife, I’d gut you.”_

Oh, those words had hurt more than if Gordon had actually gutted him. He could take senseless violence. If Gordon had hit him in anger, it would have been different. It was a reaction, just something humans were built to do when they sensed danger. If Gordon had come at him, knife ready to be plunged into the softness of flesh and eyes filled with unknowing fury, Benrey would have caught his hands, and laughed, knowing that would both infuriate and calm the man. He would have dropped the knife and turned away, still angry, but no longer senseless. No, Gordon had wanted to hurt him then. Gordon wouldn’t have done it out of fear, he would have done it premeditated, eyes and judgement unclouded.

_What was home?_

Benrey knew that he had no true home. Once they were all out of here, Coomer and Bubby would be sent to a new facility, and Tommy would leave with his father. Gordon...where would Gordon go? Could he go with Gordon? Would Gordon hate him?

These questions spun around his head until he couldn’t take it anymore, and let himself come undone. Phasing in and out of sight, Benrey rose up above the facility, floating on his back with the clouds. The fractals surrounding him broke off into patterns, shimmering in the dark sky.

_Will I ever have a home?_

Gordon hadn’t woken up the next day.

Tommy had, and got excited when Gordon clenched his hand, but it had been a false positive. Coomer ended picking the man up.

“Coomer, do you think he’ll ever wake up?” Tommy bit his lip nervously, and kept holding Gordon’s hand. It was getting a little ridiculous, Dr. Coomer thought, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell Tommy.

“I don’t know, my friend. He sustained quite a bit of head trauma.” Coomer shifted Gordon so that he was sitting a bit more comfortably, and continued to walk, Bubby right alongside him. “When he does, he might be...different. Benrey can heal broken bones, but...you know.”

“Where is Benrey?” Tommy looked around, noticing his companion was missing. As if on cue, he strolled around the corner, standing much shorter than usual.

“Here I am. Needed to think.” Benrey walked to Tommy’s side, peering at Gordon. He was still comatose, but his breathing had evened out, and it looked more like he was just asleep. It was a nice change of pace from the hurt that had been there previously. 

_Sleeping Beauty,_ Benrey thought, reaching out to brush a strand of hair behind Gordon’s ear. Upon realizing what he had done, he slowly looked at Coomer and Tommy, who were staring at him in disbelief.

“He had a bug on his face. I flicked it off.” Benrey shrugged, determinedly looking away from the two. Tommy whispered something to Coomer, who chuckled, and nodded.

“Okay, Benrey. I believe you.” Coomer rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, me too! I believe you.” Tommy chimed in.

“I didn’t see what happened.” Bubby complained.

Benrey flushed purple and walked a few paces ahead. He couldn’t believe he had let himself slip like that, but Gordon looked so peaceful in his sleep... _no. Benrey, you know better than that._

“So, Mr. Coomer, where are we going?”

“We’re leaving. You’ll probably go with your father.”

“What?”

Tommy stopped in his tracks, and a look came over his face that suggested he’d rather die than do so.

“I can’t!”

Coomer stopped as well, and walked back to Tommy. Tears had started to well up in his eyes.

“And why is that? Do you not like him?”

“That’s not fair! I don’t want to!” Tommy no longer was standing, and instead sank to his knees,shaking his head violently. “I’m not going. I live here! This is my _home!”_ The man covered his ears with his hands and silently cried, refusing to move or go any further.

“It’s okay, Coom. I got this.” Benrey walked over to Tommy, and sat down next to him. He gently tapped Tommy on his shoulder, but the small man only shook his head again. He waited until Tommy opened his eyes, and opened his hands, signing the word “hello.”

_You know sign language?_ Tommy signed back, eyes wide. Benrey nodded.

_Yes. Know a little bit. Have seen you do it. What’s wrong?_

Tommy started signing so fast that Benrey grabbed his hands, and signed the word,

_Slowly._

_I’m sorry. I don’t want to go back to my dad. He’s not really...there._ He signed the last word hesitantly, like he didn’t know if it was quite the right one. Benrey nodded again.

_Can I touch you?_

_...Yes._

“Come here.”

Benrey let Tommy crawl into his lap and rest his head on his chest, hugging him as tight as possible. Benrey gently patted his back.

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. Let’s focus on the now, and we’ll discuss this when we get out, okay?” Benrey whispered. He normally would not let him be soft in front of everyone, but he could tell that Tommy was about to have a meltdown, and they needed him functional for the journey out.

“You promise?” Tommy asked, voice unnaturally quiet.

“...I promise.”

Coomer opened his mouth to say something, but Bubby slapped his hand over his mouth.


End file.
